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Acme::DonMartin - For programs that are easy to dictate over the telephone


This document describes version 0.09 of Acme::DonMartin, released 2006-11-03.


    use Acme::DonMartin;
    print "Hello world\n";


Perl is a very difficult language to dictate over the phone. All those pesky punctuation characters and gruesome glyphs make it very laborious to speak out loud.

To compound the problem, most people can't even agree on what something as basic as # should be called. Some of the names for it (although by no means exhaustive) include:

     pound, pound sign, number sign, flash, hash, sharp,
     grid, crosshatch, octothorpe, square, pig-pen, hex,
     tictactoe, scratchmark, crunch, thud, thump, splat.

(and if you say these last few out loud, I think you can begin to see where this is going). And if you think that's bad, wait until you hear some of the sillier symbols, like %, & and @.

The first time you run a program under Acme::DonMartin, nothing happens, but your source code is magically transformed into Don Martin cartoon sound effects. The code continues to work as before, but now the above program looks something like this:

   #! /usr/local/bin/perl

   use Acme::DonMartin;
   gashlikt ahweeeeee dipada fliff gahak dapada zap thwizzik
   gahork tik gark dakdik gleet skroook skronk chomple dig
   klooonn sloople tik fling splork gleet cook chook wiz
   bombah boomer poong glong shuka spatz

The next time it is run, it will function as it did previously.

Now you can pick up the phone and dictate it to someone else and they can type it in to a computer and run it with much less chance of confusion or error.

This is also a security feature. It is expected that a government official who has wire-tapped your line will be laughing too hard to be able to recover the source code.


zownt thlip spoosh

Something weird happened.


None known.

Please report any bugs or feature requests to, or through the web interface at


Acme::Bleach, Acme::Buffy, Acme::Bushisms, Acme::Morse, Acme::Ook, Acme::Phlegethoth, Acme::Pony, Acme::Python, etc. etc. and of course


Copyright (C) 2005-2006, David Landgren, all rights reserved.


This library is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify it under the same terms as Perl itself.