Acme::Drunk - Get Drunk, Acme Style
use Acme::Drunk; my $bac = drunk( gender => MALE, # or FEMALE hours => 2, # since start of binge body_weight => 160, # in lbs alcohol_weight => 3, # oz of alcohol ); $bac >= 0.08 ? call_cab() : walk_home();
Calculating an accurate Blood Alcohol Concentration isn't as easy as it sounds. Acme::Drunk helps elevate the burden placed on the Average Joe, or Jane, to know if they've had too much to drink.
You might think to yourself, "but wait a minute, all I need is a fancy breathalizer test!" You'd be wrong. For the same reasons that The Man are often wrong on the street, and have to bring you in for a blood test. Those generic devices don't take into account important issues in drunkenness, but Acme::Drunk does.
Now all you need to be a law abiding citizen is your laptop, and we all have those at the pub, right? Right.
Acme::Drunk exports two constants,
FEMALE. You're drunk if you don't know which one to use.
drunk() takes four named parameters, detailed below, and returns the Blood Alcohol Concentration (BAC) as a number. Note that
drunk() couldn't return a true value for drunkenness because not all jurisdictions agree on what the proper BAC level is to be drunk.
Currently Acme::Drunk only works for humans, and only recognizes
FEMALEhuman genders. Use the constants exported for you to identify your gender.
If your gender or species isn't supported, please email the author.
If you don't know your gender or species, you are drunk.
This numeric value represents how long you have been drinking. If you took your first sip three hours ago, it's important to note. Your body metabolizes alcohol at a steady per-hour pace.
Your body weight is also important. Not all people are created equal, and the amount of alcohol one body can saturate is much different than another body.
The weight of alcohol you've had in ounces. This can be hard to calculate, and two helpful functions are exported for your use. Here is a common example, Guiness Gold Lager.
my $alcohol_weight = floz_to_etoh( 16, proof_to_percent( 8.48 ) );
Acme::Drunk can't do these sorts of calculations for you. You might be a raging alcoholic, drinking 45 beers a night, or so many different drinks that Acme::Drunk can no-longer keep track.
If there is interest, Acme::Drunk may have an accompanying Acme::Drunk::Drinks package containing constants such as
NyQUIL. Please contact the author. Here would be an example.
alcohol_weight => ( GUINESS_DRAUGHT_CAN*7 + JACK_DANIELS*3 ),
If you can't come up with the alcohol_weight you've had, don't worry, you might not yet be drunk.
Accepts one argument, the proof number. Does a simple calculation to convert it to percent. Returns the percentage.
Accepts two arguments, the number of ounces a drink was, and the percentage of that drink that was alcohol. Returns the fluid ounces of alcohol contained in the drink.
For our less US-centric friends, this function is exactly like
floz_to_etoh(), except its first argument is the number of ml in a drink.
Widmark's Formula for Blood Alcohol Content
( ( (FlozEtOH * 0.0514 lb/flozEtOH) * 1.044 g/ml ) / (Lbs of person * Widmark r g%/mlhr) ) - (Hours since first drink * Widmark beta) = BAC g%/ml = BAC g/dL = BAC% w/v
Casey West <email@example.com>
Copyright (c) 2003 Casey West, All Rights Reserved. This module is released under the same terms as Perl itself.